Saturday, November 12, 2005

"Make Me Pure - but not yet" - song by Robbie Williams, sentiments resonating around the church.

Oh Lord, please make me pure - but not yet
I don't have to try I just dial it in
I've never found a job that for me was worth bothering
I got a ton of selfish genes and lazy bones
Beneath this skin
Oh Lord, make me pure - but not yet

This song from his latest album really struck me. He was being interviewed on Radio 2 a couple of weeks ago, and when asked about this song, he said that he's got loads of vices that he knows are really bad for him, so he should give them up. But he enjoys them too much, so doesn't want to give them up yet.

And it really got me thinking. We ("Christians") have our identity in Christ, an identity and relationship that demands purity - we are a chosen people, set apart, to be holy and blameless, shining like stars in this crooked generation. But is that how we look? Are we shining like stars?

As I look in my own heart, and look around, I don't see much shining. I see fading in, blending in with the darkness around us. Because although we're happy to abstain from many sins, there are always some that we keep close to our hearts. The sins that give us pleasure, that make our lives more comfortable. The ones we think aren't that bad. Sometimes in a meeting or when reading the Word we'll feel convicted and pray "Lord, make me pure", but deep down we hope he won't do it just yet. A couple more years, enjoying whatever vice it is, and then maybe in the future some time we'll give it up.

But with that attitude we'll nevergive them up. We'll keep them in our hearts, and let them inhibit our relationship with God, and grieve His heart. Because we're looking at ourselves. If we were to turn our gaze fully on to Him, we would be ashamed. We would throw away whatever trash has been stealing our affections from Him, and beg Him for mercy. And we would live lives that count for eternity. Our friends and colleagues would see Christ in us. They'd see people who don't live for themselves, but spend al their energies seeking to glorify God.

Lord, break down my self-centredness, my obsession with my own needs. Show me your face, your glory, and humble me, bring me down to the depths of humility so that I fall at your feet crying for mercy. Then use me, as your vessel, to proclaim the gospel to those who are perishing, and to encourage my brothers and sisters. (Psalm 51)

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